I'm Both, Not Just One
by Ewonsama
Summary: Roxas is a bigender, random, crossdressing teen who just so happens to love men with a childish acting side to them. He secretly falls in love with his best friend's boyfriend Axel, but after meeting him in person, he's not too sure about it anymore. Add in Roxas' parents, friends, and bullies, and the rollercoaster like drama just never seems to stops for Roxas.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea came to me while I was taking a shower and it needed to be written. I will still write chapters for mates and mayhem. I have no life so no worries. I want to thank my beta for being the beta for this story. I don't deserve you. Thank you so much ****_Kyariii_**

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It's a perfect cloudy day, not too warm or too cold. The sun's light was blocked out by the puffy cotton candy like light grey mass in the sky. There was even a nice breeze that made the trees' leaves dance with each other in a swaying motion. The crows were cawing to each other while the other birds were chirping and singing their happy little songs. The sound of traffic was in the air. All in all it was a perfect day. Hopefully it won't go to hell until I get to lunch.

My name is Roxas Ciel, and yes my family is French. Ah anyway, let me tell you about myself really quick. I'm 5'7, and I have spiky blond hair that likes to change from golden to a muster yellow depending on the light in the rooms I'm in. It sucks. I also have bright, yet dark blue eyes, light tan skin that makes me still look somewhat pale... Okay we can just say I'm weird as hell. But what you're about to hear is going to get weirder.

I'm not like most guys. I'm not straight, bisexual, or gay. I'm not really sure what I am. I do know, however, that I'm Bi-gender. If you don't know what that means then I'll tell you with the actual definition.

"Definition: Bigender, bi-gender or bi+gender describes a tendency to move between feminine and masculine gender-typed behaviour depending on context."

That's me to a T. I knew I was always different because I liked to play dress up. But instead of wearing my father's clothes, I would wear my mom's dresses and make up. They thought it was cute when I was little, but as I got older and started to randomly wear skirts they took me to a psychologist. Let's just say they weren't happy when the psychologist guy helped me understand who I am. But as I was saying, I'm bigender and I cross dress only when I feel more feminine. Otherwise I usually wear skinny jeans, an overly large shirt, or my black hoodie. Hey, I like being comfortable.

Another thing you should know is that I have a weird fetish for guys that act like a child. I can't help it. It's the female side of me. When they act like that I just can't help but think about how cute they are and how I want to hold them UGH!

...sorry.

That's enough of that. I'll never find anyone like that anyway. There is this one guy I sorta like. He's completely perfect. He shouldn't even exist, that's how perfect he is. The guy is at the top of his classes. He has a PERFECT GPA. He's was also in many of the sport teams at my school; he ended up being captain of each team, but he only stayed for the season and never joined again even though he gave each team a winning streak.

He's also rebellious in his own way. If you didn't know that he was smart and athletic then you'd think that he was the school badass; which is sometimes depending on how his day went. If he's having a bad day, he'll skip classes, smoke outside, set trash cans on fire and even bully who ever gets in his way. He always wears black and dark red clothes with either black boots or black converse. He has bright, pure red hair. Not orange or anything like that, which in my opinion, makes no sense to call anyone a red head. And I'm rambling again aren't I? Sorry!

But, oh my god, he has these piercing cat like emerald green eyes with two tear drop tattoos on each of his cheeks. His skin is pale no matter how much he's in the sun; he doesn't tan or burn. He's tall, and skinny with defined muscle tone. And his voice is just, it's hard to explain. Every time I hear it, I groan internally from how it makes me melt. Did I mention he's perfect?

His name is Axel McKay and he is the guy of my current dreams. He also happens to be dating my best friend Xion. But before I get into that, let me say that he has dated plenty of girls. Most of them are my friends. This is how I know I have no shot with him because he only dates women.

Let me name a few examples. Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, Yuna, Rikku, Lulu, Paine, and Aqua. These girls aren't at my highschool anymore because they graduated. He was a freshman at the time, three years ago, and they were all seniors. I only heard about the rumors about them through the gossip mill when I became a freshman when Axel was a sophomore.

The next few girls are my friends that dated him. The first one was my crush Namine. I'm not going to lie, I hated Axel then. But their relationship only lasted a month, and she said they never went farther than kissing. It was weird because Namine wasn't sad or hurt. She was happier and said that he helped her realize something. That's when my interest in the man first started. I guess something in me just sparked and flared to life and caused feelings to form for him.

The next was about five months later. He and Kairi went out for two weeks, and it didn't even bother Namine in the slightest. Again, just like Namine, Kairi said he helped her realize something, and then the next week she and Sora started going out.

Last year, my own sophomore year, he dated Larxene (after dating other random girls) for about two and half months. She was delighted and even got Namine and Kairi's blessing to date their ex. Larxene always went to me when she wanted to talk about Axel, and as she spoke I realized that I had stopped hating him and started to like him.

It was a sad day though, when they broke up. Unlike my other two friends, Larxene was in tears over it. You see, we were by my locker when the beginning of the end happened. I was putting my books away and was dressed as a guy (thank god!) Larxene was telling me how she planned to get pregnant so Axel would marry her. Unfortunately, Axel came from around the corner and heard her. He looked at her with wide shocked eyes. I was even scared for her because he abruptly spun around and quickly ran away. The next thing I knew, we were in my room; Larxene in my arms as she cried and told me about how he broke up with her.

She's fine now though. No grudge against Axel or anything like that. She's with some guy named Marluxia now and she looks a lot happier.

Now it's the first few months of my junior year and Xion told us that she has been dating Axel since summer break. That's five months and longer than any girl has ever been with Axel in this entire school. We don't know how it happened, but she did say she liked him ever since Kairi started to date him. I'm completely crushed. I don't want to hope that Xion gets dumped by Axel or vice versa; they look so happy together. But, I can't help it. I guess this is what being in love makes you do…

Today during first period, Xion told me that Axel was going to sit at our lunch table for the first time. I was feeling feminine today so I'm wearing a short black skirt, white and black checkered leggings, and my black hoodie. My eyes have black eye liner and I'm wearing a bit of blush to pop my cheeks out. I know that he must have seen me like that this before, but never close up. Fifth period is almost over and when that bell rings there is no way I'll be going to lunch. I'd rather let Seifer bully me in the locker room again.

Oh yeah I forgot to say that, because I'm bigender or well seen as a cross dressing homo, I get bullied. But, I can fight back, so my friends aren't too worried about me.

I sighed to myself, ignoring the teacher who was talking about lord knows what. I was currently staring out the window from the middle row. My chin rested in the palm of my hand as I contemplated what I was going to do at lunch. On one hand, if Axel sits with us, I can stare at him while pretending to stare at Xion; but then again, he might feel disgusted at me like most of the school does.

"Roxas?" My friend Olette, one of the few girls that haven't dated Axel yet, whispered to me.

I turned my attention from the window to the girl that was actually sitting next to said window. "Yeah?" I whispered back trying to seem normal when I was actually having an inner panic attack.

"You alright? You look a little pale." Olette was as sharp as ever. I could never really hide anything from her; besides the fact that I like Axel. I know she was concerned about me, but I didn't want to tell her anything.

"I'm just a little tired. I might skip lunch though. Can you tell the guys I'll be in the nurse's office?" I semi lied to her. She seemed to have bought my answer since she nodded and went back to paying attention to the lesson.

When the bell rang, I took my sweet old time getting up. I wasn't in a hurry to leave after all. I put my stuff away like I actually cared about my binder and text book being damaged. I could feel Olette's green eyes watching me quizzically. I don't know why she was waiting for me, but I had a bad feeling about it. I slipped my messenger bag's strap over my neck so it was on my left shoulder while the bag itself was on my right side, and strolled over to the door with Olette right on my tail.

"Roxas are you sure you're going to skip lunch? Xion really wanted us to 'properly' meet Axel."

I couldn't help but laugh at the way she used air quotes. It's true though, none of us beside Axel's ex-girlfriends have ever really met Axel. But I wasn't ready, and I was really starting to feel sick. "I'll meet him another time. It's not like I'll never see him anyway."

Olette hummed in agreement. I walked her to the cafeteria, gave her a hug, and trotted off to the Nurse's office where the lady, once again, wasn't doing her job. Nope, instead she was hooking up with the janitor in one of the many closets. You don't want to know how I know. But, let's just say that she is never mean to me like she is with the other whiners that come to her office.

I entered the small room, dragged my feet past the desk and into the separate, much smaller room where the beds were. I laid down on my side and curled up in a ball with my face buried in knees. The tears began to start flowing from my sleep deprived eyes. I was right when I said that this perfect day was going to hell. I was in pain. Yesterday, when Xion told us about her new boyfriend, I was in complete denial. But because they have been dating for so long, I knew that she may be the one he stays with. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but I can't help that sharp jab of envy and jealousy that I feel in my chest every time I pass by them in the hallway. They look so happy together every time I see them. Why… Why can't it just be me in Xion's shoes? Why can't it be me that Axel's hugging and kissing?

I sniffled, trying to keep the snot from leaving my nose. I was trying my best to keep my sobs silent, but a few sobbing sounds escaped from my mouth. My eyes were burning. The tears just wouldn't stop flowing at that point. It was practically useless to even tell myself to think of Xion's happiness; to think of Axel's happiness. It wasn't helping in the slightest.

I must have fallen asleep sometime during my crying fest, because when I woke up with heavy swollen eye lids, I found a leather jacket covering my upper body. I rubbed my eyes, thankful that my eyeliner was water proof but annoyed that it wasn't Roxas proof, trying to wake myself up and clear my blurry vision. I yawned and stretched until I heard my back pop.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes again. The jacket fell onto my lap. My eyes were still too heavy to see clearly so I blinked them a few times. "Where did this come from?" My voice wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was a little scratchy, but it's better than being hoarse. The power of silent cries bitches!

"You're finally awake?" Someone asked from outside the small room. If the voice hadn't been so smooth, young, and sound like the deep sexy baritone voice of a man, I could've been fooled and I would've thought it was the lazy nurse.

"Who-" I started to ask but then a yawn cut me off. It was then that I began to wonder how long I've been asleep. The sound of a chuckle and boots moving across the ground brought me away from such thoughts. I blinked my eyes a few more times just as the owner of the chuckle stopped by the door.

My eyes snapped opened and widened. My jaw hung from the unbelievable cliché scene that could have only happened in movies. I wanted to smack myself just to be sure I wasn't dreaming. Standing before me was none other than Axel. THE Axel. '_Then that must mean...Oh shit this is his jacket!'_ I yelled internally, looking down at the jacket. I felt my face heat up from the embarrassment of having him finding me sleeping. Not only that but he saw me in a skirt!

"You're Xion's friend right?" He asked me, his head curiously tilted to the side.

I could only nod. But then my shy and insecurity dropped when he mentioned Xion and and being he friend. I know I said I liked the guy, but a part of me still hated him for dating all of my friends, save for Olette and the guys. Anger bubbled in the pit of my stomach. A wave of fury washed over me as I came to the realization that he might break up with Xion, just like how he did with every single one of my girlfriends, except for Olette. How do I even know that he will be loyal to Xion? Just because Kairi and Namine weren't affected by the breakup doesn't mean that Xion wouldn't be hurt and cry like Larxene was. He's a man whore or something.

I lifted my head and glared at him with these new thoughts in mind. He looked taken aback for a second, but then he raised a brow at me and crossed his arms. "What's with the attitude?"

"You better not hurt Xion like you did Larxene." I said in a threatening tone, my hands tightly gripping the leather jacket. My pulse was quickly speeding up, but whether it was from anger or from the fear of what he would do to me, I didn't know. All I knew at that moment was that I didn't ever want to see another one of my friends hurt and be in pain like that ever again because of this guy.

"Larxene?" He looked me quizzically. He then tapped his chin, as if he had to think about whom I was talking about. It just pissed me off._ 'Does he not remember her?' _I thought. '_How could Larxene could have possibly loved a guy like this?'_ He snapped his fingers, his left hand went on his hip, he leaned forward and with a look that told me that he remembered and he said, "Oh yeah that blond chick."

My eye twitched when he called her ' that blonde chick'. This had to be someone else. Whenever I saw him, he always acted differently from what I saw here right now. Then again, he could just be screwing around with me. _'Oh right, he's also a jackass on bad days.'_ I thought, as I rolled my eyes, threw his jacket at him, and got up to leave.

He rolled his own beautiful green eyes, and scoffed. "You really think I would forget her? I didn't mean to hurt her, but she was definitely crazy." He shook his head and crossed his arms again. "Anyways, I can tell by your eyes that you not feeling good was complete bull shit."

"Why are you even here?" I raised a brow, trying to hold back a yawn as I quickly changed the topic.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I came to pick something up from the old hag. Except, I found you instead." He clicked his tongue and spun around so he could head back to the outer room. I followed and trailed behind him, but only because it was the way to the exit.

I looked at the clock on the wall for the time and groaned. It was 3:45pm. "Fuuuuck." I groaned. I was supposed to be home by now.

Axel glanced at me from his place behind the desk. He kneeled down so I couldn't see him. I heard some shuffling and a few curses. I wanted to know what he was doing, but I needed to get home. I ran back into the other room, picked my bag up and then ran for the door. However, I had the honor of embarrassing myself by tripping over my feet and landing face first on the ground.

"Aha! There you are." I heard him say. He must have found what he was looking for. "What are you doing?"

"Oh just enjoying the cool hard ground." I grumbled and slowly got up. I fixed my hoodie and skirt._ 'Oh crap! I forgot I was in a skirt! Please don't say something. Come on Roxas run.'_ I thought.

"Hey! Are you wearing a-"

"Gotta go!" I cried out, completely cutting off what he was going to say, and quickly bolted for the door with a blush on my face. I opened the door, and sped down to the open gates and ran home. I wanted to hide in my cave of a room for the rest of my teenaged life, snuggled comfortably underneath my warm blankets, curled up like a fetus.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reviewing the last chapter and thanks to Kyariii for well doing what you do. You're the best and I don't know what I would do without you. You just make these stories better. Thank you :D**

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I really didn't want to go to school today. I didn't even care if it was Friday. Yesterday was just horrible. When I got home my parent's grounded me for being late and skipping my last few periods; even though I told them that I wasn't feeling good and the nurse had me stay after school to be sure I was okay to walk home. Sure it was a lie, but I wouldn't get caught even if they called the old lady. Black mail is a wonderful thing when it comes to school employees. I digress. They didn't care. It was a deal we made. They don't like it when I cross dress so the deal was that I keep up my grade, come home on time, get my homework done, and do ALL the house work in one day every day. I even have to cook on my feminine days. My father says that it will teach me to be a good house wife and that it's the only way I can be who I am.

But I don't hate them for it; I know it's hard for them to accept that their only child is both a son and daughter. My father and mother made fun of me one day; they said that if I end up with a man I better not be the one to take it up the ass. It was embarrassing to hear them say that, but it was even more humiliating because they said it when we actually went out to eat in public. Namine was with us that day too! It was when I still liked her.

They are cruel people and yet I still love them, even though I'm treated like shit. They can't help how they were raised.

"Roxas you really have to stop spacing out."

"Huh, what?" I came back to reality and realized I was falling behind on the track._ 'Thats right, fourth period is gym.'_ I thought to myself.

"You still not feeling well?" I glanced to the owner of the concerned voice. It was my cousin and closest friend (besides Xion) Sora. The spiky haired brunette was jogging beside me with his deep blue eyes filled with concern for me. "If you want, we can ask Mr. Leonhart if you could go see the nurse."

It was a nice suggestion; if I was lucky, maybe I could skip lunch again. Axel was supposed to be there again, but after our meeting yesterday he was the last person I wanted to see. Sure I was still feeling angry towards him, but feeling embarrassed like yesterday left little room for me to be angry at him. "I'm alright Sora." I lied while trying to jog faster so we could finish the mile run already.

"Are you sure? Your face is all red, and I know it's not because we're running." He turned around and started to run backwards so he could point his finger at my face.

"Maybe I don't feel fine, but if I skip out on lunch again, Xion might think I'm avoiding her because of Axel." I sighed and kept running next to Sora. We reached the end of the track and went to go sit on the bleachers until the rest of the class was finished. I looked up at the darkened grey sky and wished for a thunder storm to come and make me feel better.

"Riku said it's going to rain today. Did you bring an umbrella?" Sora was looking up at the sky too. We both had a liking for rain and stars. "I don't think she'll think that." He said as an afterthought.

"I didn't bring one but it's alright. Besides, I'm grounded so if the rain slows me down then it's more free time outside." I had told Sora about why I was grounded, but I left out the part about Axel. He knows about how my parents treat me and wishes I would just come live with him. My Aunt and Uncle are a little more open minded than my parents are, but I know what they must be thinking; they're glad it wasn't Sora who ended up like me.

"It still sucks." He grumbled and stood up just as Mr. Leonhart blew the whistle that told us to get our asses to the locker room.

I parted ways with Sora after we dressed. Just so you know, today, I woke up feeling like a girl; except… now I feel like a guy. Luckily, I always left some spare clothes in my locker incase my feelings changed. The only make up I ever take off is the blush so I always wear eyeliner, yes even as a guy.

As I walked through the halls to get to my next class, I was suddenly pushed up against a wall by familiar rough hands.

"Well, well, the drag queen changed. What happen to fag rags princess?" Seifer cackled in my face, his blue eyes burning with disgust. His hands were on my shoulders, harshly pinning me to wall. I knew people saw this scene as they walked through the hallways, but as always, they turned their heads away probably in disgust or something else, and walked away quickly. They just kept on walking as if they didn't see the scene happening right in front of their eyes like the ass holes they are. It was always like this whenever the Seifer bullied me in public.

"What do you want now Seifer?" I groaned. I just wanted to get to class so I could think about how much I didn't want to go to lunch today. '_Should I just let him beat me up today and let him feel happy about himself?'_ I thought. I wanted to get this over with. Why can't all my problems just leave me alone just for a day?

"What's the matter cupcake?" He taunted, cooing at me as he waited for a reaction from me. He smiled gently at me, gently stroking my cheek as he gazed deeply into my eyes. I glared at him. It was times like these that I thought that he was gay, but then those soft, gentle touches would turn into punches. His soft and gentle tone would gradually turn into a sadistic, disgusted tone that always mocked me.

I smacked his hand away from my face. "What Seifer, are you starting to turn gay for me now?" I prepared myself for what I knew was going to come next. Seifer frowned and glared back at me.

"What did you say?" he raised his voice. Visibly, I could see his anger level rising quickly. Before I knew it, I felt a sharp, painful jab in my stomach. This made me gasp and shoot spit out of my mouth that landed on Seifer's face. He growled and furrowed his brows, pulling his knee back before ramming it into my balls. Unfortunately, he wasn't done after that; he followed his punch by slamming his fist into my back painfully, causing me to crumple to the ground like a paper ball. "You little shit." He growled, as he started to kick my stomach painfully over and over again; all the while I gasped and coughed up more spit. He did this all in five minutes; right up until the late bell rang.

"Fucking faggot." He said venomously, and spit in my face before he left me alone in the silent hallway.

My head was killing me, my stomach hurt, and I knew I would have some bruises. I always did when I let him beat me. It was obvious that I was going to be late for class and get a detention, but I suppose that's a lot better than the school calling my parents to say I ditched a class. I hated how they did that.

After a minute or two, I reluctantly sat up with my hand on top of my sore abdomen. I wiped the spit off of the corner of my mouth with the sleeve of my hoodie and tried to stand up on my unsteady feet. I didn't move any more than I had to. I leaned against the wall until my head stopped spinning. Suddenly, an ingenious idea came to me. I chuckled to myself, thinking about the excuse I now had to ditch lunch. But for some reason, I felt that I needed to go and face the music now rather than later.

"High School sucks." I laughed to myself and stumbled to class. My teacher was not pleased when I showed up, but seeing as how I was hunched over, he decided not to be a dick and let me go with a warning. Yay for pity and no detention! Boo for Olette staring at me with wide eyes.

Damn it.

"Roxas, what happened to you?" She whispered quickly to me as soon as I sat down. I only looked passed her to stare out the window. What's a guy have to do to have some rain? I ask you what? That's like the only thing I want right now. But nooooo, I have to suffer with the just clouds and worried green eyes staring at me. Oh shit! I ignore Olette. I have to stop rambling.

"Roxas?" She hissed at me. Yep she's mad.

"It's nothing." Oh joy my voice is hoarse. Yay for me! Not. "I just ran into Seifer. No big deal."

She frowned and puffed her tanned cheeks. "What do you mean no big deal? You look like hell Roxas." I knew she was only worried about me, but I didn't want to make a big deal of it.

"Olette I'm fine, really. He just had the upper hand, that's all. I won't let it happen again." I forced a smile at her, even though it hurt, and pretended to do my work. I knew that would get her off my back, because for some reason, she thinks school work is the most important thing in the world.

As the minutes went by, my anxiety only grew stronger. There was only two minutes and thirty seven seconds left until the bell rang. I had to make a decision now. Do I ditch everyone again, or do I grow a pair and face Axel? "I'll have to face him eventually." I mumbled to myself quietly.

"Did you say something?" Son of a bitch! Olette just had to have good hearing.

I gave her a side glance. Her piercing grass green eye bores right into my head. I know she heard me, and I knew that she would get nosy. All girls are nosy, even me on a rare occasion. It's one of the things I hate about girls. They can never mind their own business or keep their mouths shut. Don't give me that look. There are things I hate about guys too and since I'm both so you can't do or say shit to me.

Sorry...

"Nothing, just talking to myself." I whispered to her as I kept my eyes on the clock. One minute and forty three seconds left. I sucked in a sharp breath, only to wince from the pain I felt piercing every bruise in my body. It wasn't helping that my heart rate was picking up and slamming against my sternum.

"Don't lie to me Roxas. Who do you have to face? Is it Seifer again?" Olette's nagging tone was about to make me snap. "You can't fight him. Not like this! Just tell the guys or something. Besides, what's the point when you'll only get in trouble?"

'_Shut the hell up! Mother fucking shit up a bastard's ass with a bitch screwing a damn cock monkey!' _I steadied my breathing as I yelled at my friend in my mind. Don't get me wrong, I care for Olette, but sometimes I wish someone would bitch slap her. "No, it's not Seifer." I said steadily, trying to calm myself.

_Dooooooooo_

Thank god the bell rang; the loud tone cut her off, but only for a few seconds. They were the few precious seconds that I had to force myself to get up and bolt from the room. Sure, it's not the best idea to do, but I just had to get away from her. However she caught up in no time at all. Limp running isn't fast all at.

"Roxas! What's going on?!" She demanded as she rounded in front of me with her hands placed firmly on her hips.

"I said its nothing. I'm just hungry so can we go eat now." I whined feeling my anxiety grow even more. At this point I think I was going to have a panic attack.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." She didn't budge. The girl was stubborn, but not as stubborn as I was. Instead of answering, I side stepped and limped past her. She of course, followed me and naturally wouldn't stop asking me questions even when we got in line, finished getting our food, and finally sat down at the table. To make matters worse, we weren't the only ones there. Sora, Kairi, Riku, Hayner, Pence, and Namine were all staring at the two of us.

"Ah man, can't you leave the kid alone?" Hayner rolled his grey hazel eyes in annoyance. Thank you Hayner for always speaking your mind.

"Mind your own business." Olette scolded him.

"Hypocrite." Hayner stuck out his tongue, and then the two started to bicker. I have to thank him later for taking her attention off of me.

"You feeling better Roxas?" My chubby brunette friend, Pence, asked me after he swallowed some pizza.

"Yeah." I nodded trying to hide my face behind some food.

"Seifer beat you up didn't he?" The oldest of the group asked me. Riku was only a few months older than all of us, that and he was Sora's best friend. His aquamarine eyes were covered by his silver hair so I couldn't read his expression, but he sounded a bit concerned. I don't know, it was always hard to tell, but Riku was one of the most trustworthy guys I knew.

"How can you tell?" I asked, putting my chicken sandwich down on my plate.

"You were limping, your hair and clothes are a mess, and you have a bruise on your left cheek." Sora said for the silverette. It's funny because I don't remember being kicked in the face. Then again, I don't really remember most of where I was kicked.

"Roxas you should see the nurse." Namine's normally kind and sweet voice said, this time full of worry. She pushed some of her bright blond hair behind her ear and her sparkling blue eyes held concern in them. I admit I still have some lingering feelings for her, but my heart sorta wants Axel more.

"She's right Roxas. You don't look so good." Kairi's sweet soothing voice added to her cousin's regard. She blew her auburn hair out of her face so her own bright blue eyes could bear upon me.

"He looks fine. You know the kid's had worse." I looked up to see a yellow blond with electric green eyes peering down at me.

"Larxene is right. I'm fine." I smiled at her, happy she wasn't going to baby me. "Marulixa not here?" I asked as she took a seat beside me.

"The ass decided to ditch today. He said he didn't want to get caught in the storm. What a baby." She groaned dramatically and laid her face on the table. We all laughed at that.

"Roxas!" I heard a voice, saw a black blur, and felt arms tightly hugging me from behind before I could even turn around to the source of the call.

"Ahh!" I moaned in agonizing pain as Xion's arms applied pressure to my sore body.

"Roxas?" She let go of me her voice full of uneasiness. "I didn't think I hugged you that hard."

"It's okay Xion. He got in a fight with Seifer again." Hayner said seeming to be done arguing with his obvious crush.

"Again! Damn it Roxas I told you to let me help you with that bully. When I get my hands on him I'll , I'll ugh!" She groaned and sat to my right with steam coming out of her ears. I laughed lightly and ruffled her short black hair, ignoring how her baby blue eyes glared at me with the promise of death if I did it again.

"It's okay Xion. Thanks though." She let out a huff of air and leaned her head on my shoulder. I winced for a second then sighed when she lightened the weight of her head.

"You wouldn't be trying to steal my girlfriend now are you Roxana?" Oh how I wanted to get up and punch his lights out right now. Why is he still being a dick to me?

I heard everyone snigger but my glower stare shut them all up. I may be both male and female, but that does not mean I will go by a feminine name like Roxana. Even Roxy pisses me off.

"Axel be nice. Roxas is having a bad day." Xion chided him while taking her head off my shoulder. "Oh! Roxas this is Axel, and Axel this is Roxas, not Roxana. He doesn't like being called anything else."

"Yeah, I met him yesterday." Axel had his elbow on the table, his arm up, and chin resting in his right hand. "I was only teasing."

"You guys met yesterday?! Roxas, why didn't you tell me?" Xion exclaimed and shook me, completely forgetting I was in agony.

"We met in the nurse's office. He was sleeping, and I was picking something up." He said nonchalantly.

"Roxas you didn't tell me he was there with you." Sora looked at me with a raised brow.

"It must have slipped my mind." I said trying to keep my cool. I spotted Larxene looking at me from the side of eyes. It made me remember how Axel pretended to not remember her. I let a growl of frustration slip out causing all eyes to look at me questionably.

"Roxas?" Namine asked quietly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I looked down trying to hide my blush. "Sorry guys, I think I'm going to go lay down." I stood up not waiting for any of them to try and stop me. I didn't even pick up my lunch, knowing someone else would eat it.

"Hey, kid!" I heard Axel calling me, but I didn't stop walking out of the building. I needed to get away before I either blow up or broke down. I wasn't so far that I didn't hear him say something to Xion before hearing the nasty sound of lips smacking. I hated that sound. I don't understand why people feel the need to kiss with that nasty noise.

I'm about to rant again, sorry.

Just as I make it out side I felt a large hand on my shoulder, stopping me from any further movement.

"I get the feeling you don't like me very much." He said it so softly that I didn't think it was him speaking.

Ever so slowly, I turned around and saw something that I didn't think I would see. It was something along the lines of hurt, or maybe sadness? I didn't know which, but it made my heart melt. The questioning look in his beautiful emerald green eyes made me question whether or not this was the same Axel that I had spoken to or seen yesterday.

It's true that I didn't like him, and yet at the same time, I liked him more than he could ever possibly ever know. But… how? How could I ever explain it to him without him hating my guts. How could I ever tell Xion that I liked her boyfriend? That's just it. I couldn't tell him exactly what I felt. I inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before replying.

"I don't particularly like or not like you. I know you're a good guy and all, but I was serious about what I said the other day. Do. Not. Hurt. Xion." I took his hand off my shoulder, drowning in the warmth and feel of it on the inside.

"I'm not going to hurt her. Xion is something special. She's different from the other girls I've dated." The look in his eyes changed to seriousness. He had looked at me with such intensity and passion in his eyes… Passion that was meant for someone other than me… and in that moment I felt my heart being torn open. It had hurt less when Seifer was beating me. At least those wounds could heal.

"Hey? Roxas what's wrong?" That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.


End file.
